isn't it so pitiful?
a creature that only wants
for what it can't have?
a lowly thing reaching for dead stars.
pathetic, really
I do not feel human in nature
I fear I am something else
something wrong
I wish I could purr
curl up into a ball and nap eternally
soft hands could stroke my back
and I'd be okay
can someone hold me please?
can someone love me?
can you let me feel it?
rid me of this perpetual loneliness
this grief I can never seem to shake,
what do I mourn?
everything
I wish I was great
I wish I wasn't broken
I wish I felt loved
I wish I could sing
regurgitate what dwells inside of me
it is sinister
haunting my dreams
I wish I was more than this
I wish my body felt like my own
why does nobody want me the way I want them?
why must I be too much,
why must this curse be laid upon me?
it's a cold night, I must stay awake.
this existence is a game
one day I will find freedom
I am wrong. and that will never be okay
October 2025